Mixed Messages

I just went to Disneyland for the first time in more than 30 years, and of course I had to go on the “It’s A Small World” ride again. As our little boat entered the tunnel, I thought how hokey everything looked, and wondered why they needed a corporate sponsor for this outdated ride.

By the time the ride came to an end, however, I was having a great time spotting the new additions, and enjoying the transition from one music style to another as we moved from room to room. I won’t say I was as enchanted as I was in grade school, but I was definitely ready to get in line and go again. How did they do that? Maybe their corporate sponsor, a major B2B engineering company, is trying out new mind control technology on unsuspecting tourists.

So it seems totally fitting that this week we’re reviewing a workout DVD whose main claim to fame is subliminal messaging. That’s right, it’s Mind Fitness Workout: Walking.

The DVD features 3 workouts of varying intensity. Each combines a 2-minute warmup, a 9-minute workout with subliminal messages, and a 1-minute cool-down, for a quick 12-minute workout. They also have a 30-minute workout combining all 3 of the shorter workouts (yes, the math really does work out, because you don’t repeat the warmup and cooldown 3 times).

It also features versions of the workouts without the subliminal messages, and 9 minutes of bonus music with subliminal messages, which they suggest you listen to before bedtime.

This DVD seems fairly dated, despite having come out less than 10 years ago. Any previous mocking of workout DVD sets that I’ve done should be completely disregarded, because this set looks like it would have been rejected 20 years ago as too dated for use on a “Saved By the Bell” fitness-themed episode. It looks even hokier than the “It’s A Small World” ride.

Instructor Shaun W. McGeahy walks you through the workout (pun totally intended!). He has a fairly soothing voice, which kind of reminded me of Bob Ross (of happy little trees fame). The instructions themselves, however, were a little terse. I don’t now if this was to leave empty space for you to absorb the subliminal messages, but I could have used a little more cuing.

The music, on the other hand, was loud and frantic … perhaps to help disguise the presence of the subliminal messages? I don’t know, but the overall effect of the soft terse voice and the busy, busy music was a little disjointed.

The choreography seemed needlessly complex to me. There were only 3-4 moves in each segment (including an appearance of the dreaded mambo in the second workout), but instructor McGeahy added “variety” with those few moves by switching up the quantity and order of the moves throughout the workout. It seemed like every time we went through the sequence, it was a little different.

I would have preferred it the other way around. Have more moves, but do each move the same way several times, and then don’t come back to it. This way you have variety, but you aren’t constantly trying to figure out what to do next.

Overall, this is not that great of a workout DVD. The video is dated, the choreography is complicated … the only selling point is the subliminal messages.

There are nine subliminal messages (everything from eating less sugar to enjoying exercise) in each workout, repeated multiple times, or at least this is what it said in the intro material. Since I can’t hear the messages, I can’t confirm or deny

I can say that after a week, the subliminal messages don’t appear to be working for me. I haven’t notice fewer cravings for unhealthy snacks (is it wrong that I’m eating a fun-size Snickers as I type up this review?), which makes one wonder what the subliminal messages really say.

It did explain in the intro that for the maximum benefit, you needed to do the workout with subliminal messages at least 3 times a week for 60 days. So, maybe the messages aren’t even there, and they’re counting on the ordinary benefits you get from working out three times a week.

I know, I can’t have it both ways – either the messages are there or they aren’t; either they work or they don’t. What bothers me is that there is no way to tell if they are working, or how they are working, or what the true objective of those subliminal messages might be. For all I know, the messages are really saying, “Eat more cookies! Then buy and use more of our DVDs!”

Mmmmm, cookies.