Sex, Lats, and Videotape

Okay, this week’s DVD does not specifically target the lats, but I am physically incapable of resisting puns. It’s a sickness, really.

This week we’re reviewing YogaBoxing. This one is definitely not suitable for the kids. Instructor Joshua Isaac Smith makes a lot of references to how much the workout will increase your sexual energy. Also, his pants seem a little too transparent to me (possibly his wardrobe was provided by lululemon?).

The super-hokey DVD cover, the moves modeled on animal movements, plus the introduction where Smith keeps bringing up sexual energy in a mildly creepy way, made me a little unsure about this DVD. It seemed like it might be too weird even for me … someone who thrives on weirdness.

But I had a review to write this week (like every week), so I persevered through the 75-minute workout.

Yes, it is extremely cheesy, and more than a little bizarre. But it is also pretty fun, and you definitely get a workout.

There is a little something for everyone in that 75 minutes. You want yoga? It’s got some modified yoga poses. You want boxing? It’s got at least three different kinds of punches. You want qigong? It’s chock full of qigong moves. You want special breathing techniques? It puts a lot of focus on breathing. You want crazy African dance? It’s got crazy African dance moves. You want positive affirmations? It’s positively packed with positive affirmations. It might be easier to list the things that aren’t in this DVD workout.

Despite the title, it feels like there’s less boxing, and even less yoga, than there is qigong. There is a lot of slow movement with a focus on breathing and intention. The entire workout is done standing. It feels very qigong to me … and then it suddenly breaks into wild dance moves. I just can’t pinpoint what this workout is all about. All I know is that “YogaBoxing” doesn’t begin to describe the far-ranging content of this DVD.

The workout is broken down into six sections: an 8-minute introduction, 8-minute Wicked Warm-Up, 10-minute Hips to Head, 17-minute Power Poses, 23-minute BoX Celerator, and a 5-minute Confident Cool Down.

The intro explained some of the breathing techniques and gave you a chance to try them out, but it was mostly an intro. I doesn’t really feel like part of the workout. It was a little disappointing to have this mingled with the introductory remarks, so you couldn’t skip the intro but still get the breathing practice.

The Wicked Warm-Up includes a lot of qigong-style hip stretches, along with a lot more references to sexual energy. A little off-putting, and it also makes the workout inappropriate for kids. There were some stretches for other muscles too, but the focus was definitely on the hips.

The Hips to Head section expanded beyond the hips, doing mostly qigong-style twists and bends. A nod to boxing came in the form of some knee lifts and holds that were vaguely reminiscent of kickboxing.

The Power Poses section was the first time we really got into any cardio, but we got into it with a vengeance. Smith crammed a lot into this 17-minute section, including some yoga, qigong, and t’ai chi poses (lots of twists), plus lots of boxing punches, African dancing, pretending to ski, and pretending to skate.

This was the first section where I had any trouble following along. I think it was just the sheer volume of exercises packed into the section. As soon as I got the hang of something we were moving on. To his credit, Smith did a decent job of explaining the moves and giving tips on form and breathing. If the pace had been a little slower, I don’t think I would have had any issues.

The BoX Celerator section, directly following the Power Poses section, seemed like more of the same to me. Like Power Poses, it had twists, boxing, African dance, and pretend skiing. It wasn’t really clear from the introduction what the difference between the two sections was supposed to be. I’d be inclined to cut out the BoX Celerator section to make the workout a little shorter.

To some extent in Power Poses, and to a greater extent in the BoX Celerator section, I struggled with the breathing. The problem is that the breath is timed to the moves, but in some cases, the moves were done so quickly that I felt like I was hyperventilating a little. This can be worked around by slowing down the moves (doing fewer reps than the instructor), or by slowing down the breathing (taking two reps to complete the inhale and exhale, instead of one).

The 8-minute Confident Cool Down (I’m curious about what makes it “confident”, but Smith did not explain) was very heavy on neck and shoulder stretches. This was awesome for me, but I also felt like maybe I should be stretching some other body parts too. Possibly Smith felt that there was enough qigong-style stretching throughout the rest of the workout that it wasn’t necessary.

Running through all the sections were positive affirmations. As you punch, you say affirmations like “I can! I will!”. As you do the qigong-style bow and arrow pose, you release negativity along with the pretend arrow.

YogaBoxing is definitely not for everyone, but if you can get past the awkward sexual energy references in the beginning of the workout, and you’re okay with doing a lot of goofy pretending (up to and including pretending to be various animals), this is a great workout. A bizarre workout, for sure, but a really fun one.

I felt like I got a good workout, stretched tense muscles, plus I felt more positive and energized at the end of the workout. YogaBoxing is campy fun for everyone (or at least everyone over the age of 18).